Where did you get a picture of my penis
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Sext me about skeletons
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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