i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
