her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
