For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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