I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
