I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
