I love black thongs
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
