I faked an abortion last night.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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