12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
