I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize