Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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