Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
