But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
My liver just had a heart attack.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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