Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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