I'm really into asian looking animals
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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