I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
