I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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