I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize