i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
