i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
