Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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