She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
