You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize