it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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