Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
