thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize