Who wears a wallet chain?!
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
