My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
he high fived his dick after we had sex
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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