I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
