Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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