Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
