went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
