Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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