I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
