why do cheetos always look like penises
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
