Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
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