3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
