yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
