We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
