I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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