You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
