Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
