Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
