did you get engaged???
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
