Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
no you cant smoke seaweed
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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