so explain again why im purple
no
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
