It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
