Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
