paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
