They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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