I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
