I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
