the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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