i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
