is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize