I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
