i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
this just has baby written all over it
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
