Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
